Breathing Underwater

A/N: So, this is one of my favorite short stories that I wrote a couple years back. Decided I might as well post it up for others to read and get some feedback on it. Enjoy. 🙂

Breathing Underwater

   Leaves crunch beneath my feet as I run through the woods. I cannot say for how long exactly I have been running, just that my legs already feel accustomed to the pace I am traveling at. It had all started with something as simple as a small get together between family and friends, but then he had shown up with her on his arm. The happy new couple, the mere thought of it makes me want to gag.

I had not seen him since he had broken my heart into a million little pieces before walking out of my door without so much as a second glance. We had both screamed at each other that night; me, because I had found out from one of my guy friends that he had cheated on me, and he in an attempt to sway my beliefs. The mere thought of that night still brings tears to my eyes, and my heart would shatter even more if there were anything left of it to be crushed to an infinite number of pieces.

The idea that he could even consider cheating on me had never crossed my mind until he had. And it is because of this double-cross that my trust in him blew up completely and irrevocably in my face. I can’t believe I was so naïve as to think that he even loved me the way I loved him. But that’s not what really bothers me, no. The thing that really irks me is who he cheated on me with; someone that I had thought had looked toward me as a best friend, and I to her, and how she could do something of this extent to me.  In fact, she wasn’t only my friend and confident, but my twin sister.

To say that I feel a pain in my heart would be an understatement as it’s more like my heart has exploded in my chest. Can you survive without a heart? I ponder the question as I come to a halt beside the creek that I used to swim in numerous times as a child with my twin sister, brother, and some of the neighborhood kids.

The crystal clear water is steadily making its way downward in a slow motion, and as I slip off my shoes to dip my feet in, there’s a catch in my breath. I had forgotten how cold the spring had always been. As I get used to the temperature of the cool water on my bare feet, I think of him. I know I should forget about him, especially given what he has done to me, but I can’t help the fact that my mind is continuing to dwell on him and how things might be different if he had not betrayed me with my twin, or anyone else for that matter.

He had told me that he loved me and that we would always be together. What a lie that was as we are no longer a couple anymore and he obviously does not love me as much as I thought he did when he first confessed his feelings. People do not cheat on the ones they love, no matter the circumstances.

They just don’t.

I just feel like screaming my lungs out for thinking that things were perfect between us. Obviously I know differently now, but it would help if I knew what had had gone wrong, and why exactly he had chosen her over me. Instead I’ll settle for jumping feet first into the streaming, cold waters of the creek for now.

The water bubbles all around me, tickling my stomach and underneath of my arms. I stay beneath the surface for as long as I can hold my breath. I keep count while the thoughts continue to swirl in my mind like the water surrounding me is doing.

1…

What happened between us that changed? Did I do something to change his opinion of loving me?

2…

Am I too sensitive? I never thought I was the sentimental type as my mother always did tell me that I needed to not be so cynical and sarcastic about everything; especially when it came to love. But then again, I am so upset to the point of screaming and crying at this current moment over him that I simply cannot tell which way is up and which down. It feels as though my entire world is spinning out of control and I cannot keep up, it is as though I am falling into a pit of nothingness. A bottomless pit.

3…

Can you be overly emotional without being aware of your feelings?

4… 5… 6… 7… 8…

I look above me at the now smooth, glass-like surface. It’s so peaceful. How can something so tranquil at times yet be so dangerous in other circumstances? I blink my eyes at the sparkling rays of sunlight that are shining down and breaking through the surface of the water, dragging my hand through the water to use as a shield in front of my eyes from the glorious sun.

…16…17…18…19…20…

I should go back now before my mother worries. Despite being an adult, she still fusses over me, but I suppose that is one of the only things parents know how to do when it comes to their kids. But it is so tempting to stay in this safe haven that I barely register that I am running out of oxygen and need to surface before I drown.

…44…45…46…47…48…49…

I break for air, gasping with each breath I take as I swim toward the edge. I brush the water from my eyes and take huge gulps as though I had been running miles without stopping. It feels like it. I lay back in the dirt and leaves, looking up into the sky filled with a few of rolling clouds and the dazzling sun while my chest rises and falls in a slow rhythmic motion.

That is when one last thought bursts forth into my mind, and that is that everything will be better from this point on. I may not have Nicholas anymore, but at least I am not dating a two-timing jerk that cares only for his self. Any guy who cheats once will more than likely keep cheating in the long run. And I’m happy for this fresh start that I am being given for anything to begin anew.

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One thought on “Breathing Underwater

  1. I should go back now before my mother worries. Despite being an adult, she still fusses over me, but I suppose that is one of the only things parents know how to do when it comes to their kids. My compliments ;).

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