I’m not typically one for making resolutions for the new year, but I felt that I should change that for 2014. Now that I’ve finished my undergraduate degrees I feel like I don’t have any clue as to what I want to do career-wise. I always imagined myself going to law school, but now that I’m thinking of the prospect of ending up working in an office behind a desk… well, let’s just say I’m starting to second guess that goal I set back when I was a junior in high school. There’s always graduate school (I already know of one of my Lit professors who also teaches at the graduate level that personally told me that he would be happy to write me a letter of recommendation at the end of my last undergrad semester). Or I could just continue substituting as a teacher’s aide and hope that I get offered a contract for a permanent teacher’s aide position. Or I could look into getting my Masters in Social Work. I’ve always liked the idea of helping other people. But I’m still unsure. There’s all these options staring me in the face and I’ve never felt more lost in the sea of reality. And as much as I’d love to choose being a writer as my career, it’s just not realistic.
I’ve always been the one of my friends who had it together. Had a set plan that I followed like a map leading from point A to point B. But now I feel like I took a wrong turn and am heading in a different direction, one that I can’t see where I’m going. And these doubts just started cropping up in the last couple months, though they’ve reared their ugly heads at me more this month. Forcing me to face my fears of failing. So here I am, as a last resort, making a list of resolutions so that I can, hopefully, conquer these doubts head on.
* Figure out what I want to do career-wise, whether that’s go to continue forth in my original goal of law school or choose a different path to go down.
* Take the steps toward whatever I choose to do with my life.
* Secure a full-time job so that I can finally put the movie theater in my past.
* Write every day, no matter what. Even if it’s just a blog post (because I’ll count those words with the number of words of fiction I write).
* Revise the novel I finished last month that I was more proud of than any other story I’ve written that isn’t a short story.
* Make the decision to either stick with or leave fanfiction since my activeness has been sporadic at best.
* Date more (which I’ve opened myself up to for the last month) now that I finally feel I’m ready to truly commit to dating someone.
* Sign up to run more marathons (not just 5Ks); also, join First Place (which is free) to train with other runners.
And that about sums it up. Looking at this list, written out, is making me feel a bit better. Just knowing that I have steps to tick off once each is completed makes me feel better. It’s the tackling them that will be hard, but worthwhile all the same. Next year will be a big year, I can already feel it. Somehow I just know I’m going to discover more about myself as I decide what to do, where to go with my life from the standstill I’m currently at with it.
If you made it to the end of this blog post, then I thank you for reading all of my whining.