Update on Reading/Writing/Life

This past month I’ve been so emotionally stressed with work that my training schedule (running) has dipped (only been making it out to the Thursday evening group runs) because I’ve been too drained to summon the motivation I usually have for running. It’s driving me crazy that I’ve only been doing 1-2 runs per week, yet I just don’t feel like forcing myself to hit the pavement.

The whole situation at work has been pretty on-going since school started this year because I’m with a different teacher this year (a teacher that a couple of the assistants that worked with her last year felt the same way I’m feeling and requested a move for this year, which is how I got stuck in it). I’ve been blessed with the other two classrooms that I’ve been in because I was well-matched with the teacher and other assistants that I’ve worked with in both those rooms, but this one not so much. I just have a more nurturing/easy-going personality when it comes to dealing with the kids than the teacher and one of the other assistants I’m working with now. I also feel this teacher is a bit more rough on the kids, verbally speaking, than she should be, which is also what’s tying me up in knots. I also feel like ever since I spoke with the principal last week, this teacher has been putting me under a microscope to find errors in anything and everything I do. My introverted personality can only handle so much at a time and working with two people that have very high-strung, extroverted personalities is a lot. All the stress just has been building up until the exhaustion finally caught up.

I am thankful and blessed for my parents, who have been really helping to make me enjoy my weekends and forget about all the work-stress I’ve been experiencing. And if I’ve had particularly stressful day, I know I can pop over for dinner and a movie/game night to de-stress.

But enough of this heavy, depressing state-of-mind I’ve been plunged into. I have 9 full days off for Thanksgiving break and I fully intend on writing and reading loads in that time. I want to finish the first draft of my MG Fantasy (Art Matters), as well as write more on my official nano plot. I sense some 10K days are on the horizon.

I also had a great interview with a day care for a 3pm-6pm teacher position. One of the women that works in the high school cafeteria with my mom told my mom about the available position and how much they needed help because she works at the day care after-school. I have a working interview on Monday at 10pm to get a feel for the 2-year-old classroom and the other two teachers that are in it. I’ll have to do some online courses through myflorida/child care since day care requires different certifications than working for the school board, but I think it’ll be worth it in the end. Plus, my horoscope and career horoscope were spot on yesterday and today, which I’m generally skeptical when it comes to astrology, but I’m taking it as a good sign that adding this afternoon job would truly be beneficially toward gaining even more teaching experience for me in the long run. Plus, I love working with the little kids. They’re a lot of fun and they love school. And this position is Mon-Fri, so it’ll be great to have a guaranteed second income.

Reading update – I’m currently reading an ebook on my nook when I’m out and about, and a hardcover when I’m home.

  • Dragon’s Keeper by Robin Hobb – (I’m around 15% into this and loving it). It’s the first Robin Hobb novel I’ve picked up and already I can tell that I’ve found a new favorite fantasy author.
  • Winter (Lunar Chronicles, #4) – I started this earlier this week an am 80 pages into (only been doing a little reading before bedtime each night this week, but I’ll more than likely finish this over Thanksgiving break because I’m enjoying it so far.

And that’s a wrap. If you made it through this whole post, then I appreciate you for reading my downtrodden rants. Writing this post has helped me to vent out a lot of my stress. That’s usually how I deal with things. Writing everything down is the main transference that works when I’m under stress because I don’t handle conflict well (usually shutting down and isolating myself is what I end up doing, like a startled deer). I try to get through it, and usually I can, but this time is different. The verbal incidents are just leaving too much stressful trauma in its wake, especially considering anything that is done incorrectly falls on my shoulders with this teacher, even if I wasn’t the one to do the task. I basically feel like a scapegoat. But that’s enough of that. Onward full speed ahead!

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9 thoughts on “Update on Reading/Writing/Life

    1. I hope so too. Even before I truly started feeling the stress, one of the PI assistants who I didn’t know that well, but still would talk a little with if we passed by each other in the afternoon after the kids left last year told me that I didn’t seem like my usual chipper self this year. The only times I’m truly happy is when I’m working with the kids. But they’re like snatches in time that’s starting to blur together. Maybe if I am moved then I’ll finally be able to take further steps to getting my teaching certificate, which I had planned on starting this year but it got waylaid because of how burdened I’ve felt. But the interview at the daycare really perked me up and renewed my motivation on that front.

      1. Stress is the worst 😦 Make sure you are taking time to take care of yourself and rest/relax whenever you can. Getting a teaching certificate would be great, especially since you know that working with the kids is something you really love! But definitely make sure that you feel ready so you don’t put too much extra stress on yourself all at once. Did everything go well at your interview? 🙂

      2. Yep, I like the classroom and got offered the position. I had to go get fingerprints done since child care and the school board are different entities, and I went ahead and got my TB skin test since it was right there next to the UPS store. I’m going in this morning to do the computer training. If I can get it all done this week, then I’ll start next week and the way the schedule is I’ll be coming in after nap as they’re eating snack. Most of the busy parts of the day are earlier.

  1. I am really sorry to hear that you feel so stressed out. Remember to relax or create a chance to chill whenever you can because when your older I wouldn’t want you to think you spent even a few minutes of your life stressing so hard on something.

    1. Yeah, I’ve been coloring so much in my Animal Kingdom coloring book to take my mind off of it in my down time. I basically just am feeling the majority of the stress at work (mostly in the mornings before we go get the kids off the buses or from the parent drop-off). But this week is wall starting to blur together throughout the day. But yeah, my coloring book has so many pages that I’ve colored in just in the last few weeks and I’m looking forward to when my HP adult coloring book arrives (waiting for amazon to get them back in-stock before they can ship one to me since I bought it with a gift card).

      1. Yes, colouring is very therapeutic in my opinion. When stress builds up so much it can make it even more stressful so having an outlet is the best idea. I’ve been seeing colouring books everywhere, I will have to pick one up it myself soon.

      2. I definitely recommend coloring books, especially the Animal Kingdom one. So many different pictures of animals/sea creatures and fish/flowers with intricate patterns that there’s enough variety.

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